So, before I start, I'm not sure if I will post this; if you're reading it I guess I did. If not, there's catharsis in keeping a diary. I also think it would've been helpful for me. when making the decision to do this, if I could see a genuine account of the side effect and experiences of a real person. Although there's always testaments online and figures on the Gov website, the sceptic in me doesn't always believe them.
I suppose the first thing is...why? Well I have hated my body for as long as I can remember. I've been very thin, currently fat, and would like to get back to pleasantly chubby. But I have always struggled with food, diets and my body image, a lot of which comes from societal pressures and off-hand (but devastating) comments from boys in high school; but mostly, I think it's due to my mental health issues.
I've been open about how I've struggled in previous posts, and try to be open in my everyday life too, but there's somethings that seem insignificant until you piece them together. And looking back, my quirks started from an early age and have ebbed and flowed over the years but food has always a part of it. I remember when I was a teenager I would see how long I could go without eating, pinch my skin in front of the mirror, because some boy said I was fat. I wasn't. But that comment crawled under my skin and decided to live there.
When I got older other factors came into play, I got into a comfortable relationship where our favourite date was a meal out, and then most of the girlies can sympathise with what 'the pill' does to your body. Then later, I was working crazy hours and eating all the wrong things but hovered about the same size as I was pretty active. The worst thing for me was The Lockdown and then unfortunately getting Covid. We all became less active being at home, and being honest I had started to skip the gym just after getting married, but once I got ill, it was a long recovery, and one I'm still not over (if ever) but I've allowed the mental impact to take over and I've become 90% hermit and taking comfort from chocolates and toast.
I'm sure some readers can relate!
Looking back there's always been a reason or excuse and I just don't want that anymore. Even though I had a ridiculous thought that medical intervention was 'cheating' and I had to 'do it properly', I start this journey now with no shame in accepting a helping hand and wishing for positivity and perseverance
Day 1
I feel nervous, I've never injected myself before, I've done my own piercings but this is completely different. I am also worrying that I will do it wrong and die a painful death with hairy legs and mismatched socks. But I read the instructions, watched a tutorial and successfully poked myself in the thigh. I noticed after 1 hour the injection site was a little red, and then a few hours late a little sore; but otherwise ok. And I'm not sure if it's psychosomatic at this point but I didn't feel hungry around dinner time.
One half of my beautiful besties was telling me recently about gua shua, so I've gonna give that ago too in the hopes I can sculpt a face that Michelangelo would be proud of.
Day 2
I've noticed no pain at the injection site, just a very small yellow bruise, and I'm also not feeling very hungry. I had breakfast and a small dinner because although I want to lose weight I don't want to be unhealthy. Day 3
This is the day I had the least appetite and I made the rookie error of having an iced coffee as my first meal of the day. This screws up your cortisol levels and I should know better. I felt a little sick in the evening time but nothing major.
Days 4, 5 and 6
Settled in I think, and I don't seem to have any negative side effects yet. I've definitely got less of an appetite and only eating something if I am hungry. I'm also eating smaller portions as I feel full my quickly.
Day 7
Still feeling good - less hungry, and have noticed I am going to the toilet more.
Day 8
Second Injection day. Went smoothly, and this time, there was no bruise or any redness at all. I injected into the opposite leg as you're meant to rotate the injection site each time.
Days 9, 10 and 11
I have lost 6lbs so far and that is just with reduced portion sizes and walking my dog every day. I am feeling energised and positive.
Day 12
I spent some time on my exercise bike to gradually increase my daily activity and I've lost another 2lbs. Still feeling positive and hardly have any appetite.
Day 13
All I really want to eat is cereal. So I am having to make a conscious effort to remember that I need various vitamins and minerals from different foods to maintain a healthy weight loss. It's too easy to fall back into the mindset of a restrictive crash diet.
Day 14
Still feeling good, and I'm finding it so easy not to snack because I have no appetite, and that also means I've been able to make smarter choices with my meals too because I'm not craving anything. I also find I'm not reaching for sugar when I'm feeling a bit rubbish. It's nice because all my life I feel like I've used food to cope with certain situations and all of a sudden that's gone. I don't need to order a pizza when I've had a rubbish day, I'm still satisfied and energised with a nice home-cooked butter bean cassoulet.
At the time of writing this update, I've done 3 rounds of 30 days and I've lost 22 lbs / 1st 8 which is more that I expected and I feel so good, I've sleo, luckily, not experienced any negative side effects. Considering this was over Christmas, a couple weekends away in Wales and some pretty low mental health stints, I am thrilled.
Now that the dark nights are coming to an end and work has settled down I feel motivated to be more active too! (More on that soon) Honestly, I've not been doing loads, when it's dark and cold all I want to do it watch Disney+ with a blanket and crochet some granny squares!
I think that's all for now, talking about my weight is awkward and although I'm feeling super positive I don't want to jinx myself!
Speak soon,
Zoe x
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